Generating a laugh is an excellent way to break the ice. We have collected some of the best icebreaker jokes available and arranged them according to length to make it easy for you to find the perfect joke to begin a speech, get your party going, or help those in a group activity relax.

Table of Contents

  • 1 Super Short Icebreaker Jokes
  • 2 Icebreaker Story Jokes
  • 3 Funny Directions on Product Packages
    • 3.1 Related Posts

Super Short Icebreaker Jokes

Choose one in our collection of super-short icebreaker jokes perfect for a quick break in a speech if you feel you are losing the attention of your audience. Learn to tell three or four so you are always prepared.

  • Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
  • There were three tomatoes, a mom, a dad and a son. The son lagged behind and fell splat on the floor. His dad yelled to him, "Ketchup, son".
  • How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of cards.
  • How do you make a hot dog stand? Steal its chair.
  • How do you make an egg laugh? Tell it a yolk.
  • How do you prevent a summer cold? Catch it in the winter!
  • How does a pig go to hospital? In a hambulance.
  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • If a long dress is eveningwear, what is a suit of armor? Silver ware.
  • What bone will a dog never eat? A trombone.
  • What can you hold without ever touching it? A conversation.
  • What clothes does a house wear? Address.
  • What country makes you shiver? Chile.
  • What did Delaware? Her New Jersey.
  • What did one elevator say to the other? I think I am coming down with something!
  • What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas.
  • What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It is time to go to sweep.
  • What did the necktie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I will hang around for a while.
  • What did the right eye said to the left eye? In between us, something smells!
  • What did the rug say to the floor? Donot move! I have got you covered!
  • What did the traffic light say to the car? Donot look at me.I am changing.
  • What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car? A pink car-nation.
  • What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car? A red carnation.
  • What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in his or her cars? An in-car-nation.
  • What do you call a personwho is born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati? Dead.
  • What do you call a song sung in an automobile? A cartoon.
  • What do you call nuts hanging on your wall? Walnuts.
  • What do you call the best butter on the farm? A goat.
  • What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? A bricklayer!
  • What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia!
  • What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit? Bugs Bunny.
  • What do you get when two peas fight? Black-eyed peas!
  • What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook? Wet feet.
  • What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover? A rash of good luck.
  • What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.
  • What has six eyes but cannot see? Three blind mice.
  • What has many keys but cannot open any doors? A piano.
  • What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
  • What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer.
  • What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed? Sleep somewhere else.
  • What kind of bird can lift the most? A crane.
  • What kind of cat likes to go bowling? Alley cats.
  • What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay? Deviled eggs.
  • What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air? A dead centipede.
  • What is gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.? The Presidential seal.
  • What is green and loud? A frog horn.
  • What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle.
  • Where do fortunetellers dance? At the crystal ball.
  • Why did the tomato blush? It is because he saw the salad dressing!
  • Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan!
  • Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose? His powder puff is on the wrong end.
  • Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
  • Why was the math book sad? Because it has many problems.
  • Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She could not control her pupils.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line
  • Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the referee calling fowls
  • Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide
  • Why did the chicken scientist cross the road? To invent the other side
  • Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.
  • Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.
  • What do you get when you cross a chicken and a pit bull? Just the pit bull.
  • How does a farmer count a herd of cows? With a cow-culator.
  • Why is it that cats do not play poker in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs.
  • What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
  • What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone? A Golden Receiver!
  • What did the dog say when he sat on the sandpaper? Rough! Rough!

Icebreaker Story Jokes

Icebreaker Story Jokes

Our longer icebreaker story jokes work well at the beginning of a speech or activity to get participants relaxed and ready to listen or participate.

  • There is a bear den near my house, with three bears living there, a mother and two cubs. For months, their behavior baffled me. Sometimes I would see them and they would be as joyful as could be, frolicking gleefully about the forest. Other times they would be stone somber. How could that be? Gleeful, somber, gleeful, somber. Then I figured it out. They are bipolar bears!
  • Three birders walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. (Ha, ha!)Birder 1: What kind of bird is that?Birder 2: A gulp.Birder 1: A gulp? Never heard of it.Birder 2: It is like a swallow, only it is bigger.
  • A man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he cannot drive around with the penguins in the car and that he should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off.The next day, the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I thought I told you to take those to the zoo."The man replies, "I did. Today, I am taking them to the movies."
  • Three older women were discussing the problems that come from getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and cannot remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."The second woman chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and cannot remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."The third one responded, "Well, I am glad I do not have that problem; knock on wood." As she rapped her knuckles on the table, she told them, "That must be the door. I will get it!"
  • This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody would not do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.Jack strode into John's stable looking to buy a horse. "Listen here" said John, "I have just the horse you are looking for. The only thing is thatan interesting fellow trained him. He does not go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream, "Hey, hey!" The way to get him to go is to scream, "Thank God!"
  • Jim nodded his head, "Fine with me. Can I take him for a test run?"
  • Jim was having the time of his life. This horse sure can run, he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead. "Stop!" screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried, he could not remember the words to get it to stop. "Yo, yo!" screamed Jim but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. The horse was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered. "Hey, hey!" Jim screamed. The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff.Jim could not believe his good fortune. He looked up to the sky, raised his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief, and said with conviction, "Thank God!"
  • Two men, Jim and John, were walking their dogs when they passed by a restaurant. "Let's go in and get something to eat," Jim suggested."We cannot," responded John. "Do you not you see the sign? It says 'NO PETS ALLOWED'.""Ah, that sign," said Jim. "Do not worry about it." Taking out a pair of sunglasses, he walked up to the door. As he tried walking into the restaurant, he was stopped at the door."Sorry no pets allowed.""Can you not see?" said Jim. "I am blind. This is my seeing eye dog.""But, it is a Doberman pincher. Who uses a Doberman pincher as a seeing eye dog?" the man asked."Oh," Jim responded. "You must not have heard. This is the latest type of seeing eye dog. They do a very good job."Seeing that it worked, John tried walking in with his Chihuahua. Even before he could open his mouth, the door attendant said, "Do not tell me that a Chihuahua is the latest type of seeing eye dog."Thinking quickly John responded in an angry voice, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"
  • Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."Watson replies, "I see millions of stars.""What does that tell you?" continues Holmes.Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it is evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"Holmes is silent for a moment, and then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

Funny Directions on Product Packages

Funny Directions on Product Packages

Use one or more of these funny product package directions to break the ice and entertain a group.

  • On a bag of corn chips: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special!)
  • On a bar of antibacterial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)
  • On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I do not blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
  • On a food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I have to admit, I am curious.)
  • On a hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that is the only time I have to work on my hair.)
  • On a chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
  • On an airline packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly another airline.)
  • On a bottle of cough medicine for children: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
  • On frozen bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day!)
  • On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
  • On a liquid sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope so.)
  • On packaging for a flat iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But this would save me more time!)
  • On a package of peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash!)
  • On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (Nevertheless, it is "just" a suggestion.)
  • On frozen tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

Whether you choose a short icebreaker joke or joke question, a longer story joke, or one of our funny icebreaker story jokes, initiating laughter always works to get a group relaxed and ready to go. Have fun with our selection of icebreaker jokes!